emilioestevez:

story time

so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.

absolutextrema:

never change kanye

never change

pastalad:

pastalad:

so this morning my dad said

“hey we got some tomatos”

and i walk into the kITCHEN AND THE ENTIRE TABLE WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN TOMATOS LIKE DAD THAT IS NOT SOME TOMATOS THAT IS A FUCKLOAD OF TOMATOS

WHRE DID YOU EVEN GET ALL OF THESE TOMATOS

JUST IN CASE YOU FUCKERS THOUGH TI WAS JOKING

Child me: WOW WHEN IM A TEENAGER IM GONNA GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS TO THE MALL AND PARTY AND DATE HOT PEOPLE AND BE POPULAR AND COOL
Teenage me: *hisses at sunlight*

overaaalls:

when i look at myself in the mirror i feel like one of those really detailed spongebob paintings

Personally, i wouldn't like to be food, because i wouldn't like to be eaten!

thorsies:

summer break

my-name-is-hilarious:

theyahoostaff:

yourfriendthecrow:

I don’t know bout y’all, but the Yahoo staff are fucking HILARIOUS

We are not fucking HILARIOUS

HILARIOUS COME HERE AND TELL THEM THAT WE ARE NOT FUCKING

theyahoostaff and i are just friends gOD